ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
