Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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