Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
