and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
