he wants to bone in the snuggie
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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