Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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