who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
