I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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