He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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