it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
