sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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