she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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