NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
