Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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