Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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