i just wanna soil my oats bro
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
