just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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