Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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