I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
