She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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