okay pat passed out under dana's car
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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