My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
