I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
