I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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