Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My feet surprised me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize