I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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