this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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