Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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