so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
