I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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