Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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