I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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