I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
