so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize