Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish you could order shots online.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
