i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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