Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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