I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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