whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
