Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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