You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
