I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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