The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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