I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The air was thick with penises
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
