I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
