"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
