You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
