I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
