the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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