My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
