From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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