yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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