I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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