hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize