I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize