i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
