i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Drake has all the answers
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
