Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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