What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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