I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
