Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
